Pregnant Men
by Dark-Kaomi
Summary: Anko has a strange mind and likes to express it. One shot.


AN: This is my first attempt at a story. It's rough, I know, but I hope to get better. Please tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: Don't own nothin'. If I did, I would have used Kakashi Gaiden as filler, not the crap they have now.

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"Do you know how scary it would be if men could get pregnant?"

Shizune and Kurenai just stared, dumbstruck. They'd been friends with Anko for several years now, but even that length of time wasn't long enough to get used to her strange thoughts. Not to mention her choice in conversation topics.

"Where the hell did that come from?" Kurenai asked, "And what do you mean by scary? I think it'd be great if men could take care of the child bearing for a while. It would leave us kunoichi free to do our jobs instead of staying behind."

"I agree with Kurenai-chan," stated Shizune, finishing off another spoonful of ice cream. "It'd be nice not to worry about it, and some men might look cute with a bulging tummy." They were out on their weekly Girls Night, trying to blow of some steam and to catch up on the latest gossip. Anko had just returned from a week-long diplomatic mission, and she was in need of some serious play time. Maybe she could convince Shizune to have a drinking contest. That woman was a riot when drunk.

"Some, maybe, but for most it would just be creepy. And think of the mood swings! We'd have dozens of Gai-san clones running around. One minute they'd be acting all manly and tough, the next they'd be crying oceans and screaming that they wanted more pickle flavored cream cheese." Kurenai and Shizune shuttered at the thought. They respected the bowl haircut Jounin but one could barely handle him, let alone an army of green spandex wearing, challenge spouting, taijutsu experts.

"Okay, this is true; but what about some of the others? I can see some of the cuter Chunnin or Jounin as a motherly type. Like Iruka-sensei. Now he would make a good mother and probably a good pregnant man." Kurenai giggled. She had had a bit of a crush on him when she was younger, but grew out of it when she grew up and her eyes had fallen on Asuma.

"You know how his temper is. Think of that enhanced by hormones. The kids would be fired and the academy leveled in weeks… Though that might be fun to watch…"

Anko grinned a viscous smirk at the thought. The other two women just sighed, shaking their heads at the sadistic kunoichi. They pitied any man who fell into her claws.

"All right, again you have a point. But there must be at least one guy who would do well preggers," inquired Shizune, as she scraped the last of her ice cream. Inwardly she cringed; she knew Anko had some crazy idea in her twisted mind, and honestly, she didn't want to know. This topic was just better than some of her others, like what poison had the nastiest side effects or something.

"Well, I always thought that Kakashi-san might be a good candidate." Anko said.

The other two just dropped their spoons and jaws, staring at the Special Jounin like she was insane, which she was.

"That lazy bastard?" quipped Kurenai.

"He can barely handle his own Genin team, let alone a baby," supplied Shizune, as she waved to the waitress to bring her some more ice cream and a bottle of sake. She had a feeling tonight would be a long one. Thankfully, due to Tsunade, she could hold her liquor pretty well, so she felt she could indulge just this once.

Anko cackled in her head. Oh, looked like she didn't have to purpose the challenge after all; Shizune was going to do the work for her. Wonderful.

"I'm just saying he is a handsome stud, and might actually make pregnancy look good. Plus, he barely shows emotion anyway, so hormonal changes wouldn't effect him much. Besides, he'd have to get knocked up for that, which would mean the father of his child would have to be quite strong, and this would definitely make a delicious couple." Anko drooled, thoughts turning to perverted scenes of the Copy-nin in bed with another male. Another, equally sexy one.

"Now you are speaking nonsense. There is no way Kakashi-san would ever end up with a man, no matter how gorgeous or strong they might be. He's into girls and you know it! I mean just yesterday I heard---"

Kurenai was cut off as she noticed said-shinobi walking past the opening of their little dessert shop. He was talking to a nicely tanned male, one that seemed to be blushing and steaming all at once. Iruka was upset at something the silver-haired ninja had said or done and was about to lay into said-man when Kakashi kissed him square on the mouth. This just infuriated Iruka even more. Kakashi ran before Iruka could touch him, leaving Iruka to chase after. The three kunoichi gaped at the scene stunned.

"…I stand corrected."

Anko just laughed before catching Kurenai's eye, and the two grinned matching wicked grins. Shizune shifted in her seat. She knew this wasn't going to end well for the two shinobi. Those two, when they worked together, were down right frightening. It didn't help that they were both closet-yaoi lovers. Well, Kurenai was still hiding her love of male couples, but Anko had been out in the open for as long as Shizune had known her.

Unbeknownst to the table of chatting females, a lone blond haired teenager was eavesdropping on their conversation. "So, women are attracted to pregnant men eh? This gives me a good idea for a new jutsu. Male Sexy no Jutsu!" Naruto flashed his trademark grin as he ran of to start practicing his new idea. May the world shudder in terror.

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AN: Well, there it is. Simple little one shot. I have always found male pregnancy stories to be a bit weird, though I've never read them. The idea is just a little too strange for me. Not to bash them or anything, they just aren't something I like.

As for the part with Kakashi and Iruka, I like the couple, but they don't have to be taken that way if you don't. You can just see Kakashi as fooling around and Iruka as being angry at Kakashi for making a fool of him in public. Your choice.

Please send me a review so I know whether or not to try again.

EN: Gomen-nosai for the intrusion on DK's fan fiction! Call me PK and I'm here by dubbing myself editor of this F.F., though I doubt DK will even notice this little clippet all the way down here. snickers madly Arigato gozaimashita, readers! ker-poof


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